The cake is a lie

Oh my what a night. Somehow I got myself into a situation I didn't plan on, fooling around with a married woman, she has a kid too. No sex, but extensive making out. But that's not really what bothers me the most, I don't feel like a home wrecker. The home seemed long wrecked before I arrived.

It wasn't a "I just want to touch you" thing. It was intimate, she was intimate. The sort of intimacy from someone incredibly lonely and sad. Things the she said, the way she acted. It all felt really wrong, it's not what I had meant to take part in. I get that sick feeling in my stomach and I don't want to eat food. I wanted something carefree and meaningless but she was pretty confused.

Come morning I awoke on her couch and sat outside thinking for a while on how I wanted to approach this, because I needed to make it clear I wasn't comfortable with it. Some strong black coffee and a talk took place. She understands that I cannot be involved with her. Nothing good would come from it. Even if it were agreed that the relationship is purely physical, it likely wouldn't be for her. It would be like giving someone cake on the condition that they weren't allowed to enjoy it.

I hope I feel better tomorrow after a better sleep tonight, because I'm still tense about it this evening.