Fuck!

Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. How many girls can I get involved with that creates immediate drama. I met this German girl at the hostel. We'd been exchanging eyes all last week and come the weekend, mutual friends went out to the bar and we spoke. Before long we were holding hands and staring at each other almost shamelessly. But the smiles turned to frowns, she apologized when I asked her what was wrong, explaining she had a boyfriend. So that was the night sort of fucked. To make matters worse, she gives me her hand again, for another five minutes, before we go. She's clearly confused on what she wants. This week, after a few days we spoke again, although we'd exchanged many awkward glances before then. She still looks at me, intensely. Last night we were flirting outrageously with each other.

I'm already clear that I'm not trying or going to do anything with her if she plans to maintain her relationship with her boyfriend, I don't want lies. After thought though I think it's became clear she's very willing to give him up and try something with me. She hasn't said it, I'm sure she has thought about it. I don't know if that's the direction I want to go in though. Sure I like her, I'm not even particularly against a sort of relationship. I guess I'm going to continue to get to know her, and fight off the urges. Maybe if things feel right, we'll make something of our friendship.

I have to ensure I don't think with my dick on this one. She's eighteen, potentially naive and I don't want to make any assumptions about our expectations.